Lets talk about Rogue, but i warn you, the following ain’t pretty. The Doctor and Ruby arrive in ye olde england, and something is afoot. And thats just about as much of the plot you need to know before it turns out the bad guys are shape-changing chameleon aliens and theres a mysterious dude with an american accent and a pretty face.
This was, nearly, the worst episode of NuWho i’d ever seen. And it was only upon rewatching that i decided i’d overreacted. Love and Monsters still holds that accolade. Followed by every single one of Jodie Whittakers episodes bar The Witchfinders and War of the Sontarans. And guess what, readers – this won’t surprise you – it was Ncuti that saved it.
It turns out the evil aliens are ‘cosplaying’ as humans. In itself i think this is possibly a good idea, after all, we cosplay as them all the time (well, i do, and mostly Cybermen), but poorly executed. Said creatures are presumably naturally rather avian in appearance – and here we are at my first major stumbling block. So their heads are birds – but not just any birds, but Earth birds. Aliens, who look like Earth birds, by a massive coincidence. Now, i KNOW they are shapeshifters, but there was no rhyme or reason they decided to default to Owls. And is it just their heads? And where did they learns the word ‘cosplay’? It certainly wasn’t about in old england and they didn’t hear the Doctor say it… Indira Virma was a welcome surprise – but this actually scared me a little because just days before i was thinking how great a Doctor she would be – and her make up was perhaps the better of the Chuldur, quite unlike her sidekick, Herman Pigeon. On seeing this blue muppet on screen i actually laughed out loud in a mixture of disgust and outright hilarity.
But thats not why people are watching this episode, they’re watching it because its got a famous guest actor in the form of Jonathan Groff. Who was, in my quiet, honest opinion, absolutely rubbish. His chemistry with Ncuti was practically non-existent and he spent the entire episode with one facial expression. We’re supposed to believe this guy develops a bit of a crush on the Doctor (and vice versa) but all we get are exaggerated theatrics and a couple of sexy-boy glances. I wanted a smoulder! Ncuti sells it on his end, because we know so much about the Doctor and what he’s gone through, so his feelings for this potential companion are believable. But Groff’s monosyllabic stoneface performance just left me shouting “you can do better!” (at Ncuti, but also at Groff, because i know he can act and i know he can sing – it just felt like he couldn’t really be arsed and would rather be somewhere else. Like Broadway). I just read that the man had never seen Doctor Who before, and boy, does it show. I hope he remains trapped in that stupid alternate dimension.
In a later annoying scene, when Ruby gets attacked by the Chuldur, we cut away to a scream and a flash of lightening. I get it, dramatic effect, because we are led to believe poor Ruby has been drained of her energy and therefore dead. But when we see the flashback explaining her escape, there is no lightening flash, meaning it was all there just to throw the audience off. Now, thats fine but it means we were decieved unfairly. If we hadn’t seen a flash we wouldn’t have thought otherwise. Why couldn’t they have just put a flash in the flash-back? Lazy.
The real icing in the cake of negative euphoria was the bloody Bridgerton references. It absolutely threw me off. Now, let me explain. I love Bridgerton. I love Pride and Prejudice and all things victorian england. But when Ruby not once but twice compares this experience to the famous Netflix period drama, my thought was – so you think it looks like a television studio? It just takes me out – in the Gunfighters if Steven had said it looks just like The Good, The Bad and The Ugly i would have been equally annoyed. David Tennant did the same previously when he used Back to the Future (a fictional movie) to explain time travel, which just makes me feel like they couldn’t be bothered trying to explain it in an original way. Or at least spend some screentime explaining time travel in an interesting way. In Interstellar, if the guy had explained space travel by saying “Its like Event Horizon” i would have screamed. Sure, Rogue looks like Bridgerton, but did we need to be told that in the script?? Of course it looks like Bridgerton. The Talons of Weng-Chiang looks like Sherlock Holmes but does it get mentioned?? NO. It made my teeth itch, and it contributes vastly to my low opinion.
HOWEVER. Lets do some positives now. Ncuti I’ve mentioned, but he deserves another couple of sentences. He is absolutely nailing it. His passion for the project is so unmistakeable. His emotions are flowing off the screen and i truly believe in him. Millie, similarly, is brilliant, but she hardly has to prove that by now. She is my favourite companion since…wow. Since…ermm… since DONNA? Surely not?? I mean, Amy i suppose. But everyone else has got my back up. Except maybe Graham, he was a laugh.
Of course as a fan i really really enjoyed the moment we got to see all our previous doctors up on the screen. That was a proper fanboy moment and i squeeeeeeeed like the rest of them. Particularly seeing Richard E Grant, having played the iDoctor on the BBC website in Scream of the Shalka (which i always assumed was canon anyway).
Whats the season been like so far? I didn’t like Space Babies, i didn’t mind Devils Chord, i really enjoyed Boom, i quite enjoyed 73 Yards and i liked Dot and Bubble. So yeah, i guess its doing okay. Some peaks and troughs in general. The question is…. will the finale be any good? It has a lot to tie up! Will Susan Twist be the Doctor’s granddaughter? Will Mrs.Flood be the Rani? Will we find out what the Doctor’s favourite colour is??
Hype hype and hype. But will they deliver the bluster? Tune in next time….
the FANGG of HORROR ROCK 