Sadly i was unable to attend Barbenheimer due to work commitments but don’t worry, i made sure i kept up with the trend by catching this a week later in my local independent. I would have started my Barbenheimer review along these lines, however:
The film is a powerful message to all those that watch it. The leads are all perfect and you’ll find yourself thinking about several specific scenes in your sleep. It is without a doubt a masterpiece. It will make you cry. It will make you think. It is about the division between love and war.
The other film is about an atomic bomb.
Hahah see what i did there?
Barbie is not what you think its going to be. The Barbie that we know and … well, i can’t say love because i never had a Barbie (or a Ken) and i think the only exposure i had to them was in Toy Story 3 – but as far as the world is aware Barbie was a franchise of dolls for young girls. The message was as star trekkish as possible – infinite diversity in infinite combinations. Asian Barbie, Stewardess Barbie, Lawyer Barbie, African Barbie, Pregnant Barbie (discontinued), and i’d be surprised if there wasn’t a goth Barbie, a Wiccan Barbie, a Barbie the Vampire Slayer or a Jedi Barbie. Heck, they even had a camp man doll called Alan, who liked to hang about with girls but was probably not gay, just in touch with his feminine side. On this note, my best friend (a girl) immediately referred to me as an ‘Alan’. So read into that what you will!
When the film starts we are introduced to EXACTLY what you expect. An over the top, comedic musical number that displays our heroine as a plastic, stereotypical doll-woman who lives in a magical place called Barbieland. Did i mention shes insanely beautiful? Well, Margot Robbie, so yes, she is.
She waves good morning, good evening and goodnight to all her neighbouring Barbies, before heading to the beach and meeting the Kens.
Stereotypical Ken wants nothing more that Barbie’s love and attention, and he will do anything to get it, including false macho moves and bitch-fights with his fellow diverse Kens. Did i mention he’s insanely beautiful? Well, Ryan Gosling, so yes, he is.
However, not long after the whole film starts to change tone. Barbie starts to worry about death. She starts to lose her doll-like traits. Its almost like…she’s becoming more human.
Sent to ‘weird barbie’ – played by the SNL comedian and former Ghostbuster Kate McKinnon (who represents all the Barbie’s that you sadistic girls would torture and experiment on! What can i say however – i definitely used to run over my action men in their own tanks) – and Barbie is sent to The Real World to reconnect with her human. Confused yet? This is no rom-com: this is a surreal journey of messages, morals and men with their tops off.
I won’t bore you with the further details of the plot – but i will tell you that prepare for some dramatic twists you probably won’t expect… and some amazing musical numbers along the way. Also, prepare to hate the patriarchy. And toxic masculinity.
As a man, i actually found this film quite depressing. It portrays men as the overlords and unfortunately, its not incorrect. I hate the still-inequality existing today. It makes me clench my fists. Its utterly insane, utterly wrong and the message that this film delivers is both hard-hitting and inarguably important.
However, director Greta Gerwig is not afraid to poke fun at her fellow womenfolk. America Ferrera (amazing) has a glorious monalogue which highlights her need for comfy pillows, nice dresses and, of course, BBC’s Pride and Prejudice. Similarly, she highlights the softness of Men: this Ken is no Henry Cavill or Arnold Schwarzenegger or Jean Claude Van Damme – this is Ryan Gosling. He has a penchant for wooly jackets and his transformation across the movie is captivating. Particularly his anxiety which i found deliciously relatable.
I have read numerous reviews that say Ken steals the show. He does not. Yes hes great, but the real star is Barbie herself. Yes, unfeasibly attractive, but Margot Robbie has already proved shes far more that a pretty face and her comedic timing and dramatic moments are exemplarly. Nay, they are sublime.
I will say confidently that there are 25 minutes of the best film ever made in here. “I am Ken” is a showstopper. My face actually hurt real pain because i was grinning so much.
It was also cool to see Ncuti Gatwa as one of the Kens – not long until he commands the TV as everyones favourite inspector spacetime, and Kingley Ben-Adir was frankly disturbing, as i’d literally just seen him beat the shit out of Sam Jackson on Disney +.
My faults? Well, all those that know me will not be surprised when i say Will Ferrell. I didn’t find anything he did or said remotely amusing. So that was a shame. I just don’t get his humour.
Go see this.
I’m away to buy a rainbow hoodie because i AM Kenough.
the FANGG of HORROR ROCK 