I love it when people think i’m being melodramatic, using exaggerative hyperbole to describe a situation that very quickly evolved from zero to infinite insanity, and really they don’t understand how my mind works. They think i’m being irrational. But really, its always more than just that instant. Anyone can lose the rag at any moment; sometimes i do when playing video games. One grass-slash away from defeating Cliff the Big Fucking Team Rocket thug and i get jabbed by a fecking shadow Eevee on steroids. I throw my phone bodily across the car onto the passenger seat and vent my frustration in a seething teeth clench as i stare out to sea from Ganavan Sands.
But when one’s entire day is spent catering to the annoying demands of other people, where every ‘oh it’ll just take five minutes’ builds to a cavernous two hours that i then DON’T get to do my own job… now, then, somebody says, oh don’t worry about that:- this doesn’t help. In fact, this just makes me feel like my job is superfluous. Why do i bother trying to do it if at the end of the day not getting it done is ‘nothing to worry about.’ BUT you’re not the one getting the condescending e-mail at 17:05 on a friday saying why haven’t you done your job this week.
Its makes quitting so much easier to consider, thats the bottom line.
Today the 9000 times i’ve waited on my manager finishing his paperwork at the end of the day was rewarded by him pissing off and leaving me to do his paperwork. Now, granted i shouldn’t have volunteered to do it, because he probably would’ve completed it faster given his computer being more superior to mine, but thats hardly the point. It was still just a ‘hi i’m off now, bye’, instead of ‘sorry my paperwork is holding you back’, (forcing me to now do some of the work from my house after hours.
Its becoming increasingly difficult to withstand these kicks in the teeth. I’m just glad i have that one suppportive smile to keep my going. If she wasn’t there, i’d be nothing.
However, positive note, just won my first five star raid in Pokemon Go.
I’m eating prawn cocktail crisps and there is fish and croquettes in the oven. Deep breaths Andrew, change is happening soon and just fight through till it does.